Saturday, July 26, 2008

I love my friends...

They are always there to hold me up... literally!


Well, I know I haven't been very good with the blogging thing lately, but I promise I'm getting better than I used to be. This has been a pretty crazy week that started with my lover Kandice returning home for her 7 week break, which was super exciting for me! I also worked on a couple commercials this week, and was in another! (I will post about these as soon as people email me the pictures) Anyway, this is a post where I'm just going to blab. I had an interesting week with experiences and where I really had the chance to learn about myself and others. Earlier this week, one of my really good friends said one of the most hurtful things anyone has ever said to me. I was the most upset I have been in a long long time, and the worst part was that it came from absolutely nowhere and it was over msn - because they didn't have the courage to say it to my face. I tried to brush it off and not make a big deal about it (I hate drama and want to enjoy the rest of my summer) but my two best friends Kandice and Alana saw how upset I was about it, and helped me realize a lot. They proved to me yet again why calling them my "best friends" is an understatement, considering how special they are to me. They are willing to risk their friendship with this person because they are not happy with how I was treated. Kandice and Alana are seriously such amazing examples to me, and we have such a strong friendship. Even though our lives are busy with work and family, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to eachother because this is home and we are a family. We will always pull together in times of need. I don't know what I would have done without them this week. I also realized as much as I think everything bounces off me and that I am strong, there are still things that make me upset. You can't possibly numb yourself of things, or you aren't really living. I guess I needed a little reality check about that. I also realized that I am sometimes too nice, and people take advantage of it and walk all over me. Hmm... I learned so much from Alana and Kandice, I'm just trying to remember everything! Oh yes, I realized that talking to this person and standing up for myself and telling them how I feel is going to be one of the hardest but most rewarding things I will do. I hate the thought of possibly losing a friend, but I really hope that what I say might teach them a lesson and prevent many other people from hurting like I was. I hope in the long they will realize that I was trying to better them, and not hurt or harm them. I also realized that you should always listen to your friends and the people you care about... they are usually right. When they tell you that you are not being treated right, they know! Anyway, I just want to thank you Kandice and Alana for being the best friends anyone could ever ask for. You honestly know me better than I know myself, and you always know what is best for me. You accept me for who I am and love me unconditionally which is so amazing. You are always there for me, and I know you would do anything for me. I am sorry that I seem to always cause problems these days, and I hope one day I will be able to help you guys in return. I am so grateful for you both and I still wonder why I was so lucky to be blessed with you both in my life. Thank you for teaching me that I sometimes need to be forward and tell someone when they hurt me. I love you both so so so much, and thank you for being such great examples to me. So thank you for being the bestest friends, mentors and sisters to me.

A quote that I really like from A. A. Milne (the creator of Winnie the Pooh) goes like this "Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."
 
Love you tons. kho.

3 comments:

Lana Dawn said...

wow nicole! i am crying! i dont' deserve the praises you gave me. Kandice maybe.. but not me! i am just doing what you would do for me and what i want to do for you. because i love you so much! i am glad you got so much out of our talks this week.. i learned lots too from it as well! and i am glad you wrote it all down, so that in times of weakness you can re-read what is true! I love you so much! unc actually! thanks for being there and being amazing! you will do amazing things!

Kandice Stewart said...

Shabby Baby -- you really are such gem. I don't know how I lucked out so much in having you be such a big part of my life... but I truly am grateful! Like Alana said, we really don't deserve all this praise you are giving us. All the fight and strength is in you, you just needed a little reminder that it was in there to begin with. That's what we're here for -- not to BE your strength, but to help you find your strength from within! Alana and I both know that you would be there for us so quickly without even thinking about it and that's what makes you so amazing. You're such a good example of compassion and love. Anytime I've needed you, you're there before I have time to blink. So -- this week I'm glad that I had the chance to be there for you! I love when you come to me with your concerns or just with your day-to-day worries and trials. I love that you trust and confide in me so much and I feel so honored and privileged that you come to me when you're feeling weak. You are seriously such a great girl and you should never have to ever listen to someone tell you otherwise. It breaks my heart when you're sad or offended or upset, because you are the most cheerful person I know. I just can't even comprehend how anyone could every say anything bad about you because I can't even think of a single negative thing about you. Don't listen to the people that try to bring you down. Don't let them win. I know this week has been super hard on you, but keep fighting. We're always here beside you, every step of the way. I love you so much and thank you for being such a great friend and sister to me. I love you more than words can say. Keep holding on.

Kandice Stewart said...

and like alana said -- this will be good for you to look back on and recall these things in the future. i love you